finally... FINALLY, Extreme Wrestling Association... I am BACK! Back and ready to return as the most dominant force in all sports. back to reclaim glory. Back to begin the quest once again. That's right, your RAVEN has returned! And believe it or not, EWA, I am just about ready to step back in the squared circle and continue my legacy.
You see, many think it was Jesse "The Anatomy" Ventura's decision alone to hang up the boots. But the truth of the matter is it was FEAR that led him to do it. Fear? No, make that TERROR. complete and utter TERROR. Ventura, as you may know, is a cheap shot artist. One of those guys who, for the life of him, could never get the job done on his own. If you'll recall, Rancid, that fat, oversized slob who calls himself a "wrestler" nailed me from behind, of course, and sat his bloated body on me, breaking a few ribs and destroying my sense of smell with the wicked fart he let out on the way down. So while I'm down and out (not from his splash, but from the stench), who should come waltzing down aisle!? My good buddy, Jerk-Off Ventura! he climbs up to the top rope and crushes my larynx completely!! I must say, I'm not surprised... I knew he'd get me while I was down. I mean, of course, he couldn't get me in the ring one on one and try to win... because he knew he could never take out the "Living Legend". So, he resorted to hitting me from behind, what Ventura does best.
My point of all this? Well, the reason ol' Jesse took off was because he knew I was coming back all ready to kick his @$$ to kingdom come! the bottom line is this... he neve beat me, never will and whe was smart...VERY smart for getting out while he could.
I see the Anarchist tournament is beginning to get interesting. Well, you can forget about it because the Great Gita is taking the belt for sure! No one else combines speed, agility, and smarts of the man... not to mention his great TRAINING! That's right!! Who do you think trains the man? The 3-TIME WORLD'S CHAMPION, THAT'S WHO!! Soon, Gita will be Anarchist champ, PHOENIX will wrest the world title away from Pagan, MDR and KK will defeat those rediculous religious fools, and Dean will hang on to the North American title, thus proving to the entire world that the FOD is the greatest group of wrestlers, and men ever assembled and the only immortal team in EWA history.
Until next time, EWA, this is the Raven saying "The IMMOTAL FOD is where it's at, BABY!"