Hey hey losers... The Insider here with some nasty cheap little rumors for ya!
HA... HA... and HA!!! Did I not tell you!? Stone Cold... my man... my star... won the first ever Commonwealth Battle Royal title. Just like I said he would. And you know why? 'Cause PHOENIX is his mentor, that's why! Well, whatever for Smith... it's good to see him with some singles gold. Let's see if he can hold on to it, and not give it away.
And hey... seriously... good job, PHOENIX.
Now then... what's up with Raven and Dean Smith? A little lover's quarrel? Well f**k them both. Dean Smith's "No Gimmicks" is old... almost as old as the blackbird himself. And I hear Raven's making a comeback? HA! I'd like to see Triple M knock the snot out of that old man.
Well, we got new champions all around now... and you know what? What's with all these jobbers droppin' gold? Let's be serious. The best champs were the Pagans, KK Nashs, and Terrorists of the EWA. But I guess jobbers like DARKNESS and Double V have to have their dayonce in awhile. Don't be surprised if the true champs of this league step up, and take back some gold.
Finally... hey... we got new brass. I won't wet my pants or anything... just more people to f**k things up.
That's it for now, until later, losers...
Updated as of March 2nd, 1998